Dear Dad,
Happy Birthday! OM Namo Shivaya!
I
hope that your spirit is watching over us today as we
celebrate immense love and memories from 82 years of your life. Had the
universe willed it differently, I would be celebrating with you in
person. I want to tell you this today as I reflect on your life and what
it has meant to me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I
never realized in how many ways you and I are similar. If
my logic comes from mom and my ideas took shape with my husband, you are
the one
that gave me my soul and instilled in me a deeper faith. You are part of
my soul,
which will make your presence felt every day, even when you are yourself
in
another realm. Do you remember when I rebelled for you not letting me go
on the
school trip with my friends? I understood you finally when my first born
went on her
first out-of-state trip. I see now clearly all the resemblances between
you and I. There are some things, however, where I still have more miles
to cover.
You lived a scrupulous life with uncomplicated ideologies. You were a “Bhola Bhandari” like the one you prayed to every day. Your ability to connect with anyone, young or old, rich or poor, was something that will inspire me forever. You saw people as people and not transactions or good will to be encashed later. That is why, even total strangers from all walks of life have become part of our extended family. Your childlike heart endeared you to little children as if you were their own. The length of your grudge was never longer than the extended arms of anyone who may have wronged you. I will always remember our phone call when you said to me, “Never hurt anyone’s heart. This is something you never want to have on your conscience at the end of your life.”
Your conscience was indeed clear and your heart pure with
love so you departed from this world in complete peace. I am lucky that I got
to hug you before you left us. I am lucky that you told me that you are proud
of your children and you felt the love of family with you. I am lucky that you
honored and valued Mom for all that she has done for us. You did not even keep the
burden of “unexpressed” gratitude on your soul.
I
know that your soul is on the forward journey. I can feel
it from the day we carried out your last rites. You said your goodbyes
before
you went and it is time for us to bid you farewell - To hold on you with
tears
and heavy heart is to do injustice to your soul. With that thought in
mind, I bid the sorrow of your loss a farewell. Thank you for being my
Papa in this lifetime. Thank you for
giving me life. Thank you for carrying me on your shoulders when I
needed it. Thank
you for crying with me. Thank you for laughing with me. Thank you for
telling
me stories that are now a fabric of my very being. Thank you for
worrying about
me every day of my life. Thank you for putting up with my tantrums.
Thank you
for giving me the gift of faith – OM Namo Shivaya. Thank you for being
proud of
my successes. Thank you for holding me in my failures. Thank you letting
me go.
Thank you for never letting your love go. Thank you for your childlike
smile from
the door of the ICU that one last time. Thank you for that one last
hug.
I owe it to you to carry on without you, to live my life’s
purpose as you lived yours. I will resolve to be alright without you so that
you can be content wherever you are. I resolve to give my children what you
gave me – a sense of stability and undying love.
I will always and forever be your little girl, your Gudiya, at
heart. You will forever be in my happy memories and daily prayers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Karpur Gauram Karunavataram | Sansara Saram Bhujagendra
Haram ||
Sada Vasantam Hridayaravinde | Bhavam Bhavani Sahitam Namami
||
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
